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Wednesday, 19 June 2013
LOVE
I stood in front of the class wondering, "where should I sit?" Everyone was staring at me, coldly and then it hits me. I certainly have stepped into a territory that is not meant to mess with. People here are not friendly, and never will. However, I am forced into this and yet to be thankful for getting an education in this elite High school. Moreover, I should have picked a sit by now and I choose to sit beside the underdog of the class. A coy brunette whom resembles myself a lot and vice versa.
I vividly remember the day when Miss Betty, our guardian at our orphan, introduced me to my foster parents. They are from a wealthy family but unfortunately were not able to have a child of their own, so they decided to adopt a grown fourteen year old girl for some reason. For the first time in my life, I felt wanted. Two individual struggles to have a child to call them mother and father whereas my parents? They clearly did not wanted that. I guess I was accidental.
"So, how was first day of school?" queried my mother, Julian. A very beautiful entrepreneur who is at her late forties and she loves me, dearly. Not brushing aside my father, Corey. He is indeed a dashing gentleman at his early fifties with a successful law firm in his hand. Though everything seems perfect with them giving me unconditional love, I still felt empty, in the inside. After being an orphan from the day I was born, I always look at things from a different angle but this was never it. I never knew how it feels like to be living under a roof with someone who I can come home to and just, feel like home. Instead, I am always with twenty others back at the orphanage and like they say, "Everyday is a celebration!"
I startled for awhile. Because I did not quite answered her question. "It was alright, I made friends." I meant, I met a girl and she happens to look like me though we barely spoken more than two sentences. "That is great! I know you would fit in right away." My father was convinced by my lie but my mother was not. "You sure?" After all, it is a school, filled with rich brats. "Yup!" I was not sure whether telling her my first day was a wreck a good idea, so I decided to avoid the truth. "Glad to hear that. More soup?" I live in a triple-story bungalow and its interior is designed fit for a rich, upper class socialite unlike Julian and Corey. Somehow I am blown away by their way of life. They are such an amazing people and never take things for granted. From the bottom of my heart, I do feel that they deserve a better child. A child who can forget about the pass and look forward to the future with them because clearly, I am not that child. A part of me wonders, what if I never manage to find my family?
It was Christmas when I first realized I had a guardian angel. I use to call her my "God-mother" when I was little but slowly, she fades along the years. Sooner or later, she disappears and after that, Miss Betty was the only one took care of me. But it was my intuition telling me my "God-mother" is there, guiding me and watching me every step I take. Until, I was adopted. It has been more than two years since I have become a "Sebastian" yet finding who my real parents are still my ultimate goal.
For awhile now, things between Tasha -the girl who I sat beside with- and I are getting better. She is now my best friend and the only one, of course, plus I do not feel alone anymore here in high school. Next week is my graduation and I am sure looking forward for it. I have a family that takes good care of me, a great friend by my side and graduating from a high school only the luckiest can go to... I am indeed in cloud nine. I adjusted my graduation hat and I went on stage while flashing my set of white teeth at my principal whom promptly handed me my certificate. A slight bow and I run down stage to immediately hug my parents. Out of the blues, a familiar face stood behind us with Tasha by her side. I had butterflies in my stomach and I could not articulate how anxious I became. It was her!
"Hi Mr and Mrs Sebastian, this is my mother. And mom, this is Jenna's family." Tasha kindly introduced us to her mother. My mother reminded me to introduce myself but I was too shocked until I left my manners behind. I just needed to know, was she the one? "Hello, I'm Jenna." I offered a handshake but instead, "Heck, give me a hug!" And she threw me into her embrace. It felt right. We connected with just that mere second. As always, my guts was right. She is my "God-mother" and I was over the moon to acknowledge the fact.
My biological father met an accident just before my mother was in labor. Things went out of hand and my mother did not knew she was having twins. With my father gone and stacking bills to pay off, she had no choice but to scarifies one child. She knew it was the right thing to do and she left me in front of Betty's orphanage several days after I was born. Remember I told you I had someone guiding me all along? It was my mother. She was there when I first started walking. She was there when I turned one years old. She was there when I fall off my pink bicycle which turn out to be a present from her. She was there watching me but never there when I needed her the most. However, I did not hate her for what she have done. In fact, she was left with no choice and yet she have never forgotten her duty as a mother, as my mother.
Everything happens for a reason and I will hold on to that. I wish I could have met my father. I also wish he is still alive and none of this would have happen but then again, I am who I am today is because of my past. If everyone had given me so much love since the beginning of my life I never would have appreciate love as much as I appreciates it now. The importance of love in life is undeniable, it almost seems like a cliche. But the fact is, we all know what love is and I love my family.
My best friend who turns out to be my not identical twin. In addition, I am also thankful to my foster parents. They gave me a taste of how real family felt like and I am also glad they finally found a way to obtain an offspring of their own. I spent my adolescent phase of my life with my family and that is more than enough for me. Now, my mother supports me every single decision I make and not from a distance yet, by my side. Digging deep into my story I realize, everything around me revolve around love. The definition of love, I believe, will always remain elusive and unclear to us all and we have yet to come to a conclusion about this familiar feeling.
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